How To Spot RED FLAGS in Gay Men
Updated: Apr 2
Can't seem to spot the 🚩's in the guy you're dating?
Here's a few for you now to help you out:
🚩 - the guy is inconsistent with their behaviour; they say they'll message back but are inconsistent. Their words don't match their actions
🚩 - the guy is rude to waitstaff or servers
🚩 - the guy makes passive - aggressive remarks at you and says, “I'm joking.” ← This is poor, underhanded behaviour
🚩 - the guy is acting jealous and is wearing you down
🚩 - the guy is dishonest
🚩 - they are gaslighting you, saying things like: ‘you heard wrong," “you’re always bringing this up,” or, “you're so sensitive."
🚩 - the guy does not respect your boundaries or anything that you've said in regards to respecting you and your needs
🚩 - they talk mostly about themselves
🚩 - when they ask you questions, they're not REALLY listening to you and you can feel they're not really on your side
🚩 - They keep bringing up their ex over many dates
🚩 - They don't like talking about “love,” their feelings or connecting with you on a deeper level
🚩 - They say they'll “change” or do things differently to make you feel better… but they don't commit to the hard work of changing their behaviour and they fall back into bad patterns
🚩 - they are closeted about their sexuality and project their shame about being gay onto you
🚩 - they put you on a guilt trip when you've set boundaries or choose not to put up with their bad behaviour
Whilst many of these 🚩's won't be obvious on date 1…
You only need ONE 🚩 in order to have a reason to stop dating them
But if you're wanting a quick and easy way to tell if there's a 🚩…
TRUST YOUR INTUITION AND YOUR GUT!!!
If the guy makes you feel:
- anxiety in your stomach - tension when you meet them
- you feel ill and even have panic attacks about losing them
- you feel like you're stepping on eggshells
- you have a lot of stress and can't think properly
- you find yourself getting easily distracted at work with thoughts of them
You need to address this with your partner ASAP as there is an imbalance in the relationship between you and your partner.
It means one of you is investing more interest and energy than the other!
But honestly, learning about these red flags doesn't ultimately help you get any closer to identifying THE RIGHT GUY!
P.S: And if you're keen to ditch the wrong guys and want to move on to finding the right guy then…